Horry Co. therapist says National Survivors of Suicide Day marks necessary conversation
HORRY COUNTY, S.C. (WPDE) — Saturday marks National Survivors of Suicide Loss Day and while one Horry County therapist said it’s not an easy conversation, it is a necessary one.
John Falls of Oceanic Counseling Group said it’s common for someone struggling to act as if everything is fine, as they’re afraid of changing meds, or how someone will react. He said that’s the most dangerous thing to do because one intrusive thought can lead someone to spiral, and convince themselves that they have something wrong with them.
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“I would encourage people to be honest and open. As scary as it can be to talk to your therapist about that, chances are, it’s what can actually prevent you from needing the hospital,” he said. “Any situation that we spend a lot of time fearing or dreading tends to be much worse in preparation for it than we actually experience. The kind of damage that we’re doing to ourselves in comparison is much worse than how we actually will feel on that day.”
He said talking about the resources available is beneficial to everyone, and that involves removing any stigma that surrounds mental health care.
“Not everyone needs therapy, but everyone can benefit from it. Having a place where you feel like someone can listen to you, and not have anything to gain. There’s no ulterior motive other than trying to help you with what’s going on,” Falls said.
That extends to removing the stigma around suicide, and better understanding someone’s struggle.
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“I’ve had a lot of people say it’s a selfish act, but unfortunately, when someone actually goes to the lengths of trying to harm themselves, they’re usually not in control at that point. It’s usually that their depression has gotten so bad, they can’t see themselves living six months from now, and if they’re not in control, it’s not them,” Falls said.
He said it’s also a common response to deflect any attention coming their way, so it’s important to remember it’s not personal.
“Sometimes that creates that feeling where we make it personal, right? It’s like, ‘well forget them, they don’t want to talk to me, I don’t want to talk to them.’ And that’s the last thing we need to do when someone is in that state. Take it personally, and turn our back to them,” he said.
He said turning our back to someone who needs it can be dangerous, and there is a way to give space while letting someone know you are here for them.
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“'No one wants to talk to me or text me anymore, no one comes by to check,’ it just confirms their thought that no one cares about them.”
You can access Oceanic Counseling Groups online resources by clicking here.
You can reach the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling 988.
